It feels like the end for me...

I bet he's crying right now. I mean, for me to think any of it had any meaning I would have to assume that's what he's doing.

It rained tonight. I cant wait to go back to school. Honestly, I hate UMBC. It's awful. I want to transfer to a university that has an architecture program. I have to do something.... I have to do it now. I would like to go to law school but, I think im going to skip on that and do something I know I could enjoy doing- architecture; maybe even architectural engineering or landscaping. Alas, I have to complete at least one more semester at UMBCrap before I can go anywhere else. It's about time mother should be waking up now(I just heard her alarm).

I have a hard time understanding how people live their lives without other people. What I mean is- People make plans and go off and lead lives.. I cant seem to let people go. I cant seem to make plans and go off without worrying about all my "friends" and "family." You would think I wouldn't be so attached. hah. I am going to call my Uncle Stephen today. I haven't talked to him all summer. I really dont know why. He is kind of upset about it though. If you knew me you would know that I'm innately passive-aggressive.. or so it would seem. Part of me hasn't bothered to call him simply because of the fact that he expects me to.. no other reason. The bigger part, I guess, would be that he wants to talk to me about things like school and bills and life. Things that I'm not taking care of. I haven't been - okay. hold it. FIRST- Apparently going from a .62 GPA freshman year (did I really just admit that?) to getting B's sophomore year isnt enough of an improvement for UMBC. I am REQUIRED to take a class that teaches me to be "successful." A class where they pep you up with inspiring tasks in the form of homework and I hear you even have to keep a journal. I hope I'm required to read it in front of the class. It's going to be full of solid bull-shit. An "easy A," you might say.. I just hope my passive-agressive side doesn't get the better of me in this case.

Anyway, what I was going on about is that I still havent been able to register for the previously mentioned class. I need PERMISSION to register for the class I am REQUIRED to take. Confused? Yes.

"Dear Bruce,
Though your petty progress seems promising, we feel that we can further boost your esteem and desire to succeed at UMBCrap by forcing you to take a class that is probably going to do nothing but take up time you could be using to actually succeed in your other, slightly more important classes. You may not however, register for this class that we have already told you you must take until we tell you that you can take it. Please figure out which department you must contact in order for us to tell you that you can take the class we are telling you to take, because it is not the department from which you are receiving this email, telling you to take it. We also regret not to inform you that, because you must take this class and need permission to take it- we may not give you permission to take this class we are telling you to take in order for you to register for it in time to receive the government funding you need to take it. If you have any questions please to not respond to this email- Contact the department that will answer your question.
Helping to hinder your success,
UMBCrap"

Well, it was something like that, anyway.

The sun is coming up. OH. Speaking of UMBCrap and this class I've been rambling about- My "phone appointment" (the one I had to schedule because of the fact that I am 3 hours away from campus.. the one that will hopefully resolve this ::over the phone:: when I have been trying to contact them for nearly a month now- over the phone) is scheduled to take place at 1:30pm today, Friday August 10, 2007. I should probably go to sleep so that I will be up for said "appointment."

Oh, and I bet he's asleep now. His brain doesn't really have the capacity to hold on to any one feeling for an extended period of time. Quite the Anti-social personality, if I may say so myself.


..but I don't think you're really there yet.